Dallas Cowboys fan petitions White House to remove Jerry Jones

Jerry Jones' status is up for debate via petition.

The White House website has a section called We The People where citizens can petition President Obama to take action on a specific issue. If the petition gets over 25,000 signatures, the White House will review its contents and make an official response.

Shockingly, this civic service is being abused by disgruntled football fans and Internet trolls.

A Dallas Cowboys fan in Georgia posted the following petition this week, asking the president to get rid of team owner Jerry Jones.

We, the Citizens of the Great State of Texas, and Dallas Cowboys fans worldwide, have been oppressed by an over controlling, delusional, oppressive dictator for way too long. Request the Executive Branch’s immediate assistance in removal of owner and GM, Jerry Jones. His incompetence and ego have not only been an extreme disappointment for way too long, but moreover, it has caused extreme mental and emotional duress.

It has about the same chance as passing as our government does of balancing the budget.

As of 11:45 a.M. ET, nearly 1,300 people had signed the petition. That’s 250 more than when I started writing the post. At this rate, it’ll have no trouble getting above 25,000. In theory, the administration will have to issue a response on Jerry Jones’ status as owner. And since we presidential administrations always keep their word to the American people, there is no chance they dodge the issue or take down the petition. NONE AT ALL.

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But they will, because this is stupid and goes against the spirit of the website. The petition violates countless parts of We The People’s policy, chiefly the part about how petitions have to “address the actions or policies of the federal government.” The Dallas Cowboys may be America’s team, but they don’t fall under America’s purview.

Plus, think of all the jobs that would be lost if Jones gets fired. Eyeglass cleaners, Botox salesmen, Jason Garrett — they’d all be out on the street.

Somebody needs to start a petition to get whitehouse.Gov to stop hosting such stupid petitions.

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