Colbert, Noah feast on Rick Gates’ testimony and Manafort’s ‘all you can steal buffet’

Stephen Colbert and Trevor Noah are enjoying the “Law & Order”-style scene taking place at the federal courthouse in Alexandria, Va., This week, where Rick Gates, ex-business partner to former Trump campaign chair Paul Manafort, has been testifying at the embattled political consultant’s fraud trial.

Gates, the prosecution’s star witness, spent Monday and Tuesday on the stand, detailing years of alleged lawbreaking at Manafort’s political firm and admitted to stealing money from secret overseas bank accounts. His cooperation was secured in February in exchange for a plea deal on charges of conspiracy and lying to the FBI.

The comedians shared their favorite tidbits from his testimony, which is expected to continue Wednesday.

“The Late Show with Stephen Colbert”

Colbert kicked off his show by acknowledging special counsel Robert Mueller’s birthday on Tuesday. “Blow out the candles and make our wish,” the “Late Show” head joked. “Mueller celebrated (Tuesday) by hammering former (Trump) campaign manager and discount cologne ad, Paul Manafort.”.

Helping Mueller is Gates, the man Colbert acknowledged was pulling back the curtain on the “all you can steal buffet” who resembles a “self-published mystery novelist.”.

Explore more:  women's ncaa soccer rankings

But the comedian, who has treated his audience to Manafort-themed mashups of the “Friends” opening credits and A-ha’s “Take On Me,” found Gates’ description of his former partner as “probably one of the most politically brilliant strategists I’ve ever worked with” to be ill-timed.

“Really, you’re going to try to compliment him after all that?” Colbert asked. “It’s like a drunken wedding toast from the best man: ‘Jerry, you and Carol deserve each other. She is a tiger in the sack, but so are you, buddy. You’re such a good lover.’ “.

Colbert went on to describe Manafort attorney Kevin Downing’s cross-examination of Gates as “real ‘Law & Order-y’ ” But to Colbert, the confession to an extramarital affair was lackluster. “Oh, my God. That’s all they’ve got on him? Our president has had multiple extramarital affairs – that’s how he met two-thirds of his wives … Allegedly.”.

More:Six bombshells from Rick Gates’ testimony in the Paul Manafort trial.

“The Daily Show with Trevor Noah”

As Noah puts it, things are worsening for Manafort, aka an “evil husband in a Lifetime movie.”.

The “Daily Show” host found Gates’ testimony revelatory, but not too exciting.

“They were like, ‘Did you guys do the crimes?’ And he was like, ‘Yeah,’ ” Noah said in the NSFW clip. “I’m not gonna lie, I was hoping for a bit more courtroom drama.”.

Though Noah’s ideas seem highly unlikely, they surely would’ve provided more spectacle.

Explore more:  Police: Pelicans guard Dejean-Jones fatally shot in Dallas

“I thought they’d tell him to confess, and he’d deny it and then they would be like, ‘Well, we’ve got a surprise witness: your twin brother!’ ” He said. “Or, Tom Cruise would’ve shown up and been like, ‘You can’t handle the truth!’ And we’d be like, ‘Wow, Tom Cruise does his own stunts!’ “.

Noah was surprised to hear Gates’ say that he may have taken funds from Trump’s inauguration committee by submitting personal expenses. “Yeah, and not just the money,” Noah remarked. “I think he took some of the people, too.”.

Contributing: Erin Kelly and Kevin Johnson.

Proudly powered by WordPress | Theme: Rits Blog by Crimson Themes.